Smart-Ass Answers
SMART-ASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during an airline flight. ”Would you like dinner?” the flight attendant asked John, who was seated in front.
“What are my choices?” asked John.
“Yes or no,” she replied.
SMART-ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket. The man opened his trenchcoat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, the flight attendant said, “Sir, I need to see your ticket…not your stub!”
SMART-ASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy replied, “No, ma’am. They’re dead.”
SMART-ASS ANSWER #3
The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.
“I’ve been waiting for you all day,” the officer said.
The kid replied, “Yeah, well, I got here as fast as I could.”
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
SMART-ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along the freeway and noticed a sign that read LOW BRIDGE AHEAD. Before he knew it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of the car and walks over to the truck driver, then puts his hands on his hips and says, “Got stuck, huh?”
The truck driver says, “No. I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas!”
SMART-ASS ANSWER #1
A college professor reminds her class of the final exam the next day. ”Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it. No other excuses whatsoever!”
A smart-ass student in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, “What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?”
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the professor smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, “Well, I guess you’ll have to write the exam with your other hand.”
ClipMate – Enhances the Windows ClipBoard, Making It a True Power Tool.
HTML clipboard ClipMate enhances the Windows clipboard, making it a true power tool. The cut-copy-paste capability of Windows works well for transferring single items of data, but is not useful if you want to move a lot of data or keep data longer than until your next cut or copy (at which time Windows overwrites the clipboard whether you were ready or not!). ClipMate works alongside the regular Windows clipboard and remembers every piece of data (both text and graphics) that you cut or copy. Once your data is in ClipMate, you can select an item and it is automatically placed back on the clipboard or directly into the application you were using. You can view, print, edit, reformat, convert to upper/lower case, search, rename, and reorder clip items. There is even a built-in spellchecker. You can create an unlimited number of collections to store your data, and you have full control over the retention rules so that your collections will fit your own work process. For example, you can use a “InBox” collection as a catch-all, and create “Safe” collections for topics like Tips n Tricks, Frequently Used Letter Closings, Clip Art, Hot Internet URLS, Project Research, or whatever you wish. ClipMate’s exclusive PowerPaste allows you to rapidly paste large amounts of data with ease. New to version 7: Universal QuickPaste lets you paste any clip by double-clicking. Drag and Drop clips right into other programs. Dual-Monitor screen capture, and the new “ClipBar” places your favorite ClipMate features right into the windows Taskbar. With ClipMate as your Windows companion, you will take the familiar underpowered clipboard and turn it into an unexpectedly powerful TimeSaver….Click to TRY or…Purchase ClipMate
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